


Touchdown

by packerhaz



Category: One Direction
Genre: American Football, American football au, Banter, College, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Mentions of Underage, Mutual Pining, Non-con is only mentioned briefly, Oral Sex, Slow Build, alcohol consumption, harry and Mae are best friends, harry is a college athlete lmao, mentions of rape/non-con, sort of
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-17
Updated: 2016-11-12
Packaged: 2018-03-30 23:19:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 8
Words: 16,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3955723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/packerhaz/pseuds/packerhaz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry Styles is something straight out of a cheesy teen drama.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_August Twenty-fifth_.

I hum softly as I walk around the sprawling campus, the late summer sun warming my skin. My eyes flicker down to the campus map in my hands, my eyebrows furrowed a bit. I let out a little breath of relief when I reach my dorm building, quickly making my way inside. Chatter fills my ears, students all around me mingling with others around them. _Room M17 ,_ reads the little slip of paper taped to my map. Letting out a triumphant little noise when I reach my dorm, I dig my key into the lock. The little _snick_ lets me know that it's all clear for me to go in. The sound of faint music is heard as I open the door up. A girl with a jet-black pixie cut is sat in front of a small desk.

"Uhm, hey." I clear my throat, lingering a bit awkwardly by the entrance. The girl spins around in her chair, smiling at me.

Her eyes are warm as she stands up, walking over to me. Her hand extends to me and I graciously shake it, returning her smile. "I'm Malia." she introduces politely.

"That's a really pretty name." I tell her with a smile. "I'm Mae." I say, fidgeting a bit with the hem of my work t shirt.

"Mae." she repeats with a single nod. "Gotcha. I'll be able to remember that." she says, almost to herself. "Is that all you've brought?" Malia asks, gesturing to the suitcases in my hands.

"No." I shake my head with a little laugh. "My mom's bringing the rest of my stuff tomorrow, so then I should be all set."

She just nods, smiling as she flops onto her bed, which is covered by a pink and black quilt.

I wrinkle my nose a bit at the sight of my bare bed, quickly taking out the new sheets and comforter that my mom helped me pick out.

Malia turns the volume up on her music as I put the sheets onto my bed. We chat mindlessly about anything and everything.

I find out that she's a sophomore and she majors in art therapy and minors in photography and English. She has five siblings, but doesn't talk to them much.

A phone chirps and she quickly grabs it from the desk she was previously sat at. "Nice." she says aloud as she looks at the screen.

My eyebrows raise in question as I tilt my head. "What?" I ask curiously.

"Football is already starting next week." she grins, tapping away at her phone. "Which means so do the after parties."

"I don't really like sports." I say with a shrug.

Malia laughs, shaking her head. "Me either, but the games are still fun. It's an excuse for us to stare at guys' asses for a few hours."

I shrug, laughing a bit as I put my clothes onto hangers. "I guess I can't argue with that." I smile.

"So does that mean you'll go with me to the first game?" she asks excitedly.

"I guess so." I shrug, smiling at her excitement.

She breaks into a wide grin and taps quickly at her phone screen. "The guys on the team are really nice, so they'll probably invite us to their annual start-of-the-season party." she says mindlessly.

I give her a small nod and grab my showering things.

"Our bathroom is through that door." Malia says. gesturing to a poster covered door that I hadn't noticed before.

"We have our own bathroom?" I ask, my eyes a bit wide.

"It's just a toilet and a sink, but you can put your getting ready stuff in there." she says with a shrug. "The shower's just at the end of the hall." she adds, smiling.

I nod, letting out a little breath. "I'll be back, then." I smile, turning on my heel to walk down to the shower room.

After a long, hot shower, I step out of the stall in a towel, feeling refreshed and I wrap another towel around my head.

My eyes widen when I hear a loud, raspy voice echoing off of the tiled walls. The gravelly voice is singing some 80's song that my mom used to play. I smile a bit to myself as I squeeze my wet hair out with the towel that's falling off of my head.

I look up at the mirror in front of me, seeing a dark eyed girl looking back at me. I wrinkle my nose a bit at my tired expression before dropping the towel that's around my torso.

I'm quick to pull on my baggy t shirt, my eyes widening when I hear the other shower turn off.

Only a moment later, footsteps pad toward me, the singing voice from before softening.

"Oh, hey." the nameless boy says casually. Hes unusually nonchalant for someone without _clothes_.

I turn around quickly, my cheeks turning bright red as I take in the boy in front of me.

Long, dark hair sticks to his forehead, water dripping off of his tanned, toned torso. Black swirls cover the skin of his torso, and more on his left arm. A plush, green towel hangs low on his narrow hips, another in his large hand as he rubs it through his soaking hair.

 _Holy fuck_. He's probably the most beautiful man I've ever seen.

"H-hi.." I stutter out, quickly looking down at my bare feet.

"M'Harry." he introduces with a dimpled smile.

I shake his extended hand, giving him a polite smile. "I'm Mae." I respond.

"You a freshie?" he raises his eyebrows.

My face heats up again as I nod a bit shyly. I don't even know how to form words.

"Your roommate too?"

I shake my head. "She's a sophomore." I tell him, and my voice squeaks. _Wow, real smooth, Mae_.

"Cool." he smiles again. "I'm a junior." he informs me.

"Cool." I echo before we fall into a comfortable silence. "I should head back..." I mumble.

Harry nods, giving me another dimpled smile. "It was nice meeting you, Mae." he says politely, followed by a wink which makes my face burn.

"You too, Harry." I say quickly with a wave before rushing back to my room.

Malia is in the same spot I left her when I come back into my cozy little room, although she's got on a pair of pajamas instead of her jean shorts and hoodie.

"How was your shower?" she asks, lifting her head from her phone.

"I wasn't informed that the showers are coed." I mumble, and she can probably see my red cheeks.

She lets out a loud laugh, nodding. "Oh yeah. There's usually no one in there around this time, though." she shrugs.

"Well there was definitely someone in there. He was singing really loud." I laugh lightly.

"Oh? Did you get to meet him?" she asks, a slight smirk on her lips.

I nod wordlessly, heat rushing to my cheeks. "He was really cute. His name is Harry." I say, looking down at my feet

"Harry." she hums, tapping her chin thoughtfully as she seemingly wracks her brain for the name. "Harry Styles?" she questions, tilting her head. "That's the only Harry I know."

I shrug, yawning a bit. "I have no clue. We didn't exchange last names."

"Well what does he look like?" Malia asks as though it's the most obvious thing in the world.

"Uh, he's really tall and he's got dark, curly hair." I tell her, shrugging my shoulders.

Malia's eyes widen almost comically as she gapes at me. "Holy shit!" she laughs out.

"What? Is he special or something?"

"He's the quarterback of the football team. Pretty much everyone on campus worships him. He's the stereotypical Big Man on Campus." she rolls her eyes a bit. "He lives in a frat house with his other football monkeys. He always throws the best parties that everyone goes to. and he always gets the hottest dates. He never stays with anyone for long, though." she shrugs a bit.

"Why not?" I ask, my eyebrows furrowing.

"He's got commitment issues or some bullshit like that." she shrugs again.

"He seemed nice." I repeat the action.

"It's probably because you were naked." Malia waggles her eyebrows at me.

I take one of the throw pillows off of my bed and launch it at her. "I had my pjs on, pervert." I giggle out. I leave out the part that I didn't have pants on, though.

She laughs loudly, shaking her head before locking her phone and laying back against her pillows. "I'm going to bed now. I've got an early class tomorrow morning, so I probably won't see you until the afternoon. You can meet me in the cafeteria at eleven-ish. I'd hate to make you sit alone on your first official day." she smiles, flicking her lamp off.

I smile to myself, pulling my thick covers around my shoulders. "Thanks." I say softly, grabbing my teddy bear. It's quiet for a while before Malia speaks up.

"You're going to like it here, Mae. I promise." she says softly. "And if you don't, I give you permission for you to personally kick my ass." she adds and I can't help but let out a loud laugh.

"Sounds like a deal to me." I grin before burrowing my face in my pillow. The pillowcases still smell like home and suddenly my throat feels tight. I let out a shaky breath before sitting up.

The little snores coming from the other side of the room tells me that Malia's asleep.

I let out another shaky sigh, dragging my hand through my hair. I slowly climb out of my bed, my sock-clad feet creeping out of the room. I'm careful not to make any noise as I make my way out to the little lounge.

I blush a bit as I see a familiar head of hair. I stay quiet as I slink into a big leather recliner.

Harry looks up at me, giving me a small smile. He's got on a ratty college football shirt and plaid pajama pants, a pair of glasses perched on his nose. "Hey, again." he says easily, setting the book he was reading down.

He's wearing _glasses_. I swear to god, this guy isn't real.

"Hey." I say quietly.

"Couldn't sleep?" he hums and I shake my head.

"You?"

He shrugs his broad shoulders. "I have troubles sleeping. I'm usually up until really early."

I frown a bit. "That must suck... are you always tired then?" I ask curiously, suddenly remembering that Malia said he lived in the frat house. Why is he here then?

He runs his long fingers through his hair, shaking his head. "I drink a lot of coffee and energy drinks and all that fun stuff." he laughs lightly.

"Those are really bad for you though." I frown.

Harry shrugs, humming a bit. "It's the only thing that helps, I guess."

"Why don't you try taking sleeping pills or Benadryl?" I ask, frowning a bit.

Harry shrugs again. "Benadryl is gross, and I can't take pills." he responds, propping his feet up in the ottoman that matches the oddly patterned couch. "How's your first day been?" He asks, changing the subject.

I lean back in my recliner with a yawn. "It's been pretty good. The campus is lovely and I like my roommate. She's really nice." I smile. "And you're really nice too." I add a bit teasingly.

He smiles, and it's almost shy. "Well I try to be nice to everyone." He says softly.

"My roommate seems to know you. I didn't know you were on the football team." I say, pulling the blanket I dragged out with me up to my shoulders. "And that you're in a frat. but then again, i'm not really surprised. Usually football and fraternities go hand in hand."

His face lights up when I mention football. "I love football." he gushes. "I always have. I guess I've always had an odd obsession with it. We don't play football like this in England. My parents always thought I was such a weirdo for wanting to play American football. I got a whole bunch of scholarships to come play here, so it saves my mum and dad a lot of money." he smiles.

"And as for the frat, I guess it just comes with being talented and beautiful." he says with a dramatic flick of his long hair and I bark out a loud laugh.

My hand flies up to cover my mouth, hoping he'll forget about the embarrassing noise I just made. I clear my throat, looking back down at my lap after a bit. "Don't you miss your parents?" I ask softly, changing the subject.

"My dad died before I graduated." he says quietly, fingering the cross pendant around his neck. "My mum moved out here with me. She lives about an hour away, so she usually comes to all of my games."

I smile sadly at him. "I'm so sorry, Harry." I say softly. "My dad died too. I was only three, so I don't really remember him." I say with a shrug. "It's really cool that you're so close to your mom though."

Harry smiles to himself. "Yeah, she's really lovely. She's got a few cats so she's not lonely."

"Aww, that's cute. I wish I could get a cat." I pout a bit.

Harry laughs lightly. "Yeah, they're great." he hums. "Are you coming to the game next week?" he asks curiously.

I shrug. "I think so. I'm pretty sure Malia's going to drag me along."

Harry raises his eyebrows at me. " _Drag you_? Is it really that much of a hassle for you to come watch?"

I shrug again, humming. "I don't really like sports."

"Oh? So you probably don't like fun or puppies either, right?"

I raise my eyebrows, letting out a laugh. "I happen to love fun _and_ puppies. I just don't find sports interesting. It just seems like a glorified game of fetch to me."

Harry's green eyes widen as his mouth gapes open. "I am _appalled,_ really, Mae." he gasps, sounding scandalized.

I giggle, shrugging as I curl in on myself.

"Can't you at least give it _one_ chance? If you really don't like it, you never have to talk to me again." Harry begs, his green eyes wide and his lips formed into a pout.

I pretend to think for a long moment before letting out a long, dramatic sigh. " _Fine._ I'll go to _one_ game _._ But don't expect this to be a regular thing." I scold as I stand up.

Harry breaks into a wide grin, making a triumphant sound.

"I'm gonna go back to bed, okay?" I smile sleepily, rubbing my eyes.

"So I'll see you next Friday then?" he asks hopefully.

I nod with a soft smile. "I'll see you next Friday. Goodnight, Harry." 

_End of chapter one._


	2. Chapter Two

_September Second_.

The first week of classes go by in a flash, and soon enough, it's the weekend. After reading through all of the syllabuses for my classes, I'm free to do what I want until Monday.

I'm lounging on my bed, scrolling through Tumblr when the door swings open, revealing Malia, who's decked out head-to-toe in our college's football gear.

I raise my eyebrows in question at her and she looks disappointed. "You're not even ready!" she whines with a slight pout.

"Ready for what?" I shake my head, confused.

"The pep rally is tonight." she says as if it's the most obvious thing in the world.

"Pep rally?" I laugh. "I didn't know that college was like high school." I giggle.

Malia shakes her head quickly. "It's _way_ better than high school. There's always a ton of people. It's pretty much just a big party on the football field. The whole team is there, too." she winks at me.

I blush a bit, looking down. That means Harry will be there. "I don't have any school clothes, though." I mumble out an excuse.

Malia rolls her eyes at me. "Then we'll go down to the school store. It's not even that expensive. Just get a hoodie or something. It's a bit chilly out."

I sigh, defeated as I set my phone down. "Fine, fine." I raise my hands up in surrender.

Malia grins, giggling happily. I can't help but smile, her excited energy infectious. I grab my wallet out of my purse, sighing a bit.

Malia grins at me, grabbing my hand and tugging me out. "I'll do your makeup too, if you want." she offers kindly.

"Sure." I shrug. "I don't really wear makeup, though..." I make a face.

"I know." she giggles. "I'll make you look _beautiful_." she says in a faux-posh accent, making me giggle.

"Okay, fine." I roll my eyes playfully. My eyes widen a bit as we reach the school store. It's about the same size-maybe bigger- as a store at the mall. "It's huge in here." I breathe and Malia laughs lightly.

"Yeah, I guess." she shrugs. "There's pretty much anything you might need. There's a bunch of clothes and school supplies and snacks and all that fun stuff."

I smile to myself as I look around at the clothes, my fingers brushing over the brightly colored fabrics. "This is cute." I smile, holding up a tie-dyed hoodie.

Malia smiles and nods. "That one must be new. I haven't seen it before."

I grab the hoodie off of its hanger before going over to the register. The bored-looking girl behind the counter rings me up and quickly hands me my bag.

I roll my eyes a bit before Malia and I make our way back to our dorm.

After Malia does my makeup, I change into my new sweatshirt and a pair of faded black jeans. After slipping my vans on, Malia smiles at me.

"Ready?" she asks, raising her eyebrows.

I nod, humming as I grab my phone.

As we get closer to the football field, I hear loud music thumping from inside. "Are we late?" I ask a bit worriedly, biting my lip.

Malia just shakes her head. "There's always a lot of people who come early."

I nod in understanding, humming a bit as we enter the stadium. Hundreds of people already crowd the field, brightly colored cups in their hands. I smile to myself, looking around a bit before Malia is dragging me over to a large keg.

I wrinkle my nose as she hands me a red cup full of beer. "No thanks." I decline politely.

"You're no fun." she pouts at me, taking a drink out of the cup.

"I don't drink." I giggle out, shrugging my shoulders.

" _Buzzkill_." she singsongs, grinning at me.

I roll my eyes, pushing her playfully before making my way over to a bright blue cooler. I grab out a can of soda, humming as my eyes scan the crowd. There's a circle of people chanting in the middle of the field and my eyebrows furrow in confusion.

I slowly make my way over to the crowd. I push through the thick crowd, letting out a loud laugh when I take in the sight before me.

Two guys are in blown-up sumo suits, a beer bong in one's mouth. The other guy is pouring beer into the funnel.

Malia suddenly appears next to me, letting out a loud whoop.

"Do you know these guys?" I laugh.

Malia nods, giggling. "The blonde one is Niall and the short one is Josh. They're cousins." she explains with a shrug. She cheers along loudly as Niall eagerly chugs down the gold-ish liquid.

"Holy shit!" I laugh, shaking my head as he launches his fists in the air. "I can't believe that he drank all of that."

Malia shrugs, smiling. "He's from Ireland. He knows how to hold his liquor." she explains, grinning wide as a tall, muscular boy walks over to her, pressing a little kiss to her lips.

My eyes widen a bit.

"Oh! Mae, this is Liam." Malia smiles wide at me.

The boy-Liam- waves politely. "Hey. It's nice to meet you." he says softly.

I nod, smiling. "Likewise." I say politely.

He presses another kiss to her lips before whispering something into her ear while she sips at her beer.

"Wellllll..." She drawls. "I've got to go." she giggles.

I blush lightly, nodding.

"You'll be fine on your own, right?" she raises her eyebrows.

 _No_. "Yeah, of course." I lie easily, shrugging.

She grins wide, her arm curling around Liam's.

I let out a little groan as I watch their retreating figures. I sigh to myself before going over to the first row of seats on the side of the field.

I sip at my soda, observing the crowd quietly. The sky darkens quickly as the time passes and I look up at the clear sky and smile a bit to myself.

I look back to the football field when I hear footsteps approaching.

I quint in the slight darkness to see a lanky figure stumbling towards me.

"Hiiiiii." the person drawls and I smile.

"Hi, Harry." I giggle softly.

Harry plops down onto the bleacher next to me and smiles crookedly at me. His cheeks are flushed pink and his green eyes are glassy. Clearly he's had a bit too much to drink.

"Are you enjoying yourself?" He asks, his speech a bit slurred.

I shrug, pulling my hoodie tighter around myself as a cold breeze whips through my hair. "It's not really my thing."

Harry takes a drink out of the cup he holding and he nods thoughtfully. "You don't like big crowds?" he asks, his eyebrows furrowed.

I shake my head, dragging a hand through my hair. "I'm fine with crowds. I just don't really know anyone and Malia ditched me for her boyfriend." I say with a shrug.

"You know me though." he says with a slight pout.

I smile a bit to myself, fiddling with the sleeves of my hoodie. "That's true... but I figured that I would just stay with Malia all night. I think I'm just gonna-"

"Malia." Harry interrupts me.

"Yeah." I say slowly.

"Is she the one who Liam's dating?"

I nod softly.

"She seems nice." Harry hums softly, smiling. The lazy, relaxed smile stays on his lips for a while.

We fall into a comfortable silence as we listen to the music thumping through the speakers.

Harry stands up quickly, his face suddenly very serious. "We should go for a walk." he declares with a simple nod.

I can't help but smile as he takes a few steps. His gait mirrors that of a baby deer's.

"I'll leave without you." he warns, his voice slurred.

I heave out a dramatic sigh before getting up off of the cold metal bleacher.

Harry does a little happy dance, which I'm positive he thinks looks really cool. "You are so _slow_." He drawls, widening his eyes.

"I'm coming, I'm coming." I giggle, rolling my eyes playfully. It doesn't take me long to catch up with him.

He looks at me with a lazy smile, his eyes half-lidded.

"What?" I laugh lightly.

He shrugs, letting out a little drunk giggle. "You have makeup on." he says thoughtfully.

"I do." I nod, laughing a bit.

"Why?" he asks curiously. "I've never seen you wear makeup."

I snort, shrugging. "You've also only seen me at night when I was getting ready for bed." I smile, taking slow steps.

"You have pretty eyes." he blurts out, making my cheeks burn.

"That's very sweet of you to say." I mumble shyly.

"They're so _warm_ and _brown_." he continues rambling.

I duck my head, grinning quietly. "You're sweet." I say softly, bumping my shoulder against his arm.

He's easily a foot taller than me.

"You're really tiny, too. So teeny tiny..." he coos.

"Harry, shush." I giggle out, poking his side.

"Or what?" he challenges, a playful glint in his eyes.

"Or I'll fight you." I say simply, shrugging.

"You couldn't fight me." he replies with a smirk.

"Oh. I definitely could." I grin.

Harry shrugs his shoulders, looking straight ahead again.

It's quiet again as we walk around the campus.

He straightens out his SnapBack before shoving his hands deep in his pockets.

"So..." I start, feeling a bit awkward.

Harry turns his head to me, his lips quirked into a question.

"Do you live in the dorms?" I ask curiously. "Or an apartment close to campus?"

He shakes his head with a smile. "I'm in a frat."

 _Oh. Right_. I remember having this conversation when we first met, but I forgot in a flurry of new teachers and classmates and homework and other school bullshit. He probably doesn't remember that conversation. Especially in this drunken state. 

I vaguely remember Malia saying something about that, but I can't help but let out a loud laugh. "You are a walking stereotype." I shake my head, giggling.

Harry gives me a big pout, crossing his arms over his broad chest as he stops. "How?" He raises his eyebrows.

"Well for starters..." I smile. "You're very handsome." I say simply and the comment makes him smirk a bit. I point sternly at him, narrowing my eyes at him. "Don't you dare interrupt me, mister." I growl with no malice at all.

"Anyways." I sigh dramatically before continuing. "You're handsome and you're the god damn quarterback of the football team and now you're telling me you're in a frat? You're something straight out of some cheesy teen movie. You'll probably eventually tell me that I'm not like other girls around here and you'll probably say that I shouldn't get too attached because you'll only break my heart." I explain with a shrug.

"Pfft, I promise that won't happen. I'm not like other guys." he smirks, having sobered up a bit.

I let out a loud laugh, covering my mouth. "You are _unreal_ , honestly." I grin, shaking my head as we start to walk again.

He rests a heavy hand on my shoulder, leading me down a street with several large houses. Judging by the large Greek characters on the front, I'm assuming they're all of the frats and sororities.

"How are you liking your classes so far?" he smiles.

"They've been okay." I shrug.

"What's your major? Or do you not know yet?"

I shake my head, smiling. "I'm majoring in journalism and minoring in theater."

Harry smiles at me. "That's really cool. I'm majoring in psychology and minoring in organic chemistry."

My eyes widen a bit. "Wow. You're really smart." I say, hoping he doesn't notice the tone of surprise in my voice.

Harry smiles a bit shyly, shrugging as he shoves his hands in his pockets. "I guess." he hums. "I think I'd like to be a therapist. I like helping people." he says softly.

I smile at him. "That is so cool." I say softly, bumping into him again

He grins bashfully, ducking his head. "What about you though? It's so cool that you like to act." he says, turning the attention away from himself.

I shrug, shivering a bit as I cross my arms over my chest. "I just feel like I'm at home onstage. It's cool because it's like when you're little and you're playing pretend.." I smile to myself. "I like being a different person each time I'm in a new play." I say softly.

He stops walking to look at me with a soft smile. "I think that's really sweet." he hums, his eyes boring into mine.

My cheeks heat up involuntarily, making me look away. "I should probably get back.." I mumble.

"Do you know how to get there?" he asks kindly.

"Yes." I lie easily.

Harry laughs, shaking his head as he wraps a strong arm around my shoulders. "I'll walk you to your dorm." he says softly.

I nod shyly, instinctively leaning into his side, chasing his warmth.

"I have a question." I say after a while, making him look at me with a raised eyebrow.

"And what's that?"

"How come you were in my dorm building the night we met last week?" I ask curiously.

Harry shrugs, tightening his grip around my shoulders a bit. "I dunno... I just don't like not having my own shower at the house. Besides, no one really cleans up at the house. The dorm halls are usually quieter too." he says simply.

I nod slowly, still not quite buying it. "Isn't that kind of a far walk?" I ask.

"You ask a lot of questions." he chuckles lowly.

I blush, shrugging. "I like asking questions. It helps me get to know people."

"We should play twenty questions then." he says suddenly.

I snort, shrugging. "Fine, you first."

He grins to himself, tapping his chin thoughtfully. "What time do you usually wake up in the morning?" he asks.

I let out a laugh, shrugging. "Boring question." I tease.

"Just answer the question." he pouts.

"Fine." I roll my eyes playfully. "I wake up at six every morning." I shrug. "What's your football number?"

I can see his face light up at the mention of the sport. "57." he states proudly. "Do you want to just act onstage or in movies?"

I smile softly to myself. "I'd love to be in movies." I shrug. "Do you think that you'll play football for the rest of your life?" I ask him curiously.

Harry's quiet while he thinks. "I'd want to." he says softly. "The ultimate dream would be to get drafted into the NFL, but it's kind of an unrealistic dream." he shakes his head, taking his hat off to run his fingers through his thick curls.

"I don't think it's unrealistic at all." I tell him softly, resting a hand on his arm. I see his cheeks turn a bit pink under the light of the street lamps.

"I just think it'll be easier for me to get a job as a therapist or be an intern at a lab or something." he shrugs.

"What about organic chemistry?" I ask.

He shrugs again. "My dad was a science teacher and microbiology was his favorite thing. So he taught me a bunch of science stuff." his eyes are a little sad as he talks about his father.

I nod softly, frowning a bit as we stop outside of my dorm building. I let out a soft sigh as I look up at him. "I guess I'll see you around." I say quietly.

Harry nods, smiling. "Hey, you should give me your number." he says as I'm just about to go inside.

I blush, my eyebrows raising at him. "Why?" I laugh lightly.

His hands are in his pockets as he shifts nervously from foot to foot. "I dunno..." he mumbles shyly.

"I just- you're really nice and you're a good listener and your easy to talk to." he rambles softly.

 _Aww_. He's actually _shy_.Big Bad Quarterback Harry Styles is _shy_. 

I smile softly at him. "Give me your phone then." I laugh lightly, holding my hand out.

He sets his phone into my palm and I quickly tap my number in before handing it back to him.

"You can walk me in if you want..." I say softly, biting my lip.

He smiles shyly and nods once he's pocketed his phone again. His hand rests on the small of my back as he leads me inside.

I let out a sigh of relief as the warm air of the building hits my face. We walk down the hallway before I stop in front of my door.

"I guess this is goodnight then?" I smile, letting out a little yawn. He nods, letting out a dramatic sigh.

"I'll text you soon." he promises.

I give him a small smile and nod. "I look forward to it. Goodnight, Harry." I say softly.

Harry hesitates for a moment before he leans down, his pink lips brushing against my cheek gently. "Goodnight, Mae." he whispers into my ear, sending shivers down my spine.

_End of chapter two._


	3. Chapter Three

_September Thirteenth_.

New text from Harry: _what r u doing Friday night?_

My phone buzzes from its place on the table where I'm sat at in the library. I blush lightly as I read the text.

Me: _probably hw.. :( why??_

I respond quickly before going back to highlighting my notes. My phone buzzes a second later.

Harry: _well u should not do ur hw and come to the game_

I roll my eyes a bit, smiling.

Me: _I don't like sports, remember??_

_And I went to the 1st game last week_

Harry: _;-; but it'll be fun and I'll be there :(_

Me: _maybe I'll think about it. I'm studying rn_

Harry _: then I'll keep texting u until u say yes ;)_

I can't help but let out a little laugh as I shake my head.

Me: _then I definitely won't go ;)_

When Harry responds, he's sent a picture of himself, a big pout on his pink lips and long hair is tied back in a bun.

I giggle softly to myself, rolling my eyes.

Me: _ugh fine. Will u pls leave me alone now?? I have a big test in my history of cinema class on Friday_

I text him back with a smile, even though I don't really want to stop talking to him.

Harry: _u should come to the gym and study so I'm not alonneeeeeee_

I laugh softly, closing my textbook.

Me: _id rather not be in a room full of stinky boys_

Harry: _I'm the only stinky boy in here so ur good on that :p_

I blush lightly as I read his flirty text.

Me: _I don't even know where it is sooooooo_

Harry: _how about lunch then?_

I bite my thumb nail, smiling a bit shyly.

Me: _just in the cafeteria?_

I wonder, glancing up at the clock on the wall.

Harry: _I'll take you out somewhere. I'll be at the library in 20 minutes._ _U_ _better be ready ;)_

I pack my things up quickly before getting up to look at the various titles of all of the different books. I check the time on my phone, humming quietly to myself.

A few minutes later, after wandering through the stacks, I feel hands on my sides, making me let out a little shriek. I cover my mouth with my hand as I quickly turn around, my eyes wide.

"You're an _ass_!" I hiss at Harry, slapping his chest.

Harry's shoulders shake as he giggles quietly.

He actually fucking _giggles_. What even is my life?

I cross my arms over my chest, pouting at him. "I don't like to be scared." I mumble, looking away.

"Awwww, I'm sorry, babe." he coos, the pet name making me blush.

"Let's just go to lunch." I say quietly, pulling my bag close to my body.

As we walk out of the library, the woman behind the circulation desk glares at us. Harry flashes her his most charming smile, waving sweetly.

I let out a little giggle. "You're so weird." I say fondly with a shake of my head, unable to help from laughing.

"Peggy loves me, trust me." he says confidently.

I snort, rolling my eyes. "It sure seems like it." I tease. "Now I'm on her shit list, thanks to you." I poke his side.

He lets out a soft laugh, running his long fingers through his thick curls. He grabs the hair tie around his wrist, throwing the thick curls back up in a bun that's identical to the one he was sporting in the picture he'd sent earlier.

I smile softly at him as he tugs the sleeves of his flannel down. "So where are we going?" I ask curiously.

"It's a surpri-ise." he sing-songs, smiling as he stops in front of a vintage silver Jaguar.

My eyes widen a bit as I take in the car. "Wow." I breathe. "Nice car." I say softly.

He smiles proudly as he opens my door up for me. "My dad used to fix up old cars and he gave me this one as a graduation present. It's my baby." he says proudly, his eyes a bit sad at the mention of his father.

I smile down at my lap as he goes to the other side of the car, climbing into the driver's side.

I pick at my nails quietly, looking out the window as he drives.

"You're not very talkative today." Harry teases after a little while.

I shrug, turning to him with a small smile. "I guess I'm just tired. My classes are seriously stressing me out and I'm trying to find a song and a monologue for my audition for Les Mis." I sigh softly, dragging a hand through my hair. "I guess I'm just stressed." I finish with a shrug.

Harry gives me a sympathetic smile, resting a hand on my knee. "Les Mis, huh?" he raises his eyebrows before taking a deep breath.

" _Five years for what you did_! _The rest because you tried to run! Yes, 24601."_ He sings dramatically and

I let out a loud laugh. Just when I think he's done singing, he picks up again.

" _My Name is Jean Valjean_." he finishes, puffing his chest out.

I laugh uncontrollably, clutching my stomach.

He flashes a toothy grin at me. "Bet you didn't know I was so cultured, huh?" he teases.

I laugh and shake my head. "I just didn't know you were such an incredible singer." I tease back, and he rests a hand on his chest, his mouth dropping open. " _Wow_ , Mae. I truly am hurt. Here I am, trying to make you more comfortable and even a little _less miserable_."

My eyes widen I laugh even more. "Oh my god, you are such a dork." I shake my head, still giggling as I swat at his arm.

"But really, I'm freaking out. I'm so nervous. My audition is next week."

"I totally get what you mean. Psychology is killing me. I have to memorize a whole bunch of brain parts and mental disorders and all that fun stuff." he hums, tapping his fingers against the steering wheel as he turns the radio up a little. "Plus, I've got a huge organic chemistry test coming up." he says with a sigh.

"Organic chemistry?" I tilt my head.

Harry shrugs. "It's like, studying the chemical structures of different organic compounds." he explains.

I furrow my eyebrows, tilting my head again. "What even makes something organic?" I ask him curiously.

"Organic materials have carbon in them." he shrugs with a smile.

I nod, still not really understanding. "Cool." I say instead, smiling at him.

Harry laughs softly, shaking his head. He clearly knows how lost I am in the conversation. "It's a lot of memorization and spelling and all that fun stuff." he shrugs his shoulders.

I watch him as he pulls the messy bun out of his hair, only to throw it up again a moment later.

"Do you like having long hair?" I blurt.

He lets out a little laugh as shrugs as he pulls into a parking lot in front of an old-style chrome diner. He quickly hops out of the car to open up my door for me.

I smile a bit shyly as I climb out.

He holds his hand out to me, a shy smile playing on his lips.

I take it with a little giggle, noticing how much bigger it is than my own. "No need to be shy." I tease.

"Oh, pfft. The whole shy thing is just an act." he says nonchalantly. The pink tint on his cheeks tells me otherwise though.

A short, older woman greets us at the front of the restaurant with a kind smile. "Just you two?" she asks with a thick Long Island accent.

Harry nods, smiling. "Yes, please." h says politely.

The woman smiles brightly as she grabs two menus and rolls of silverware.

We trail after her and are quickly seated. After taking our drink orders, our waitress walks off to the kitchen, leaving us alone.

"So..." I hum a bit awkwardly as I look up at Harry.

He smiles at me over the top of his menu. "So?" he repeats with a raised eyebrow.

"I dunno." I mumble, my face hot. "You never answered my question."

"What question?" he raises his eyebrows.

"Do you like having long hair?" I ask again.

Harry shrugs with a smile. "I dunno, yeah." he laughs lightly. "I mean, I wouldn't grow it as long as Clay Matthews, but..."

"Who?" I laugh.

"Oh, right." he hums. "You hate chocolate and rainbows." he teases. "If you must know, Clay Matthews is a player for the Green Bay Packers."

Oh, right. "I knew that!" I say quickly.

He narrows his eyes playfully at me. "You're just saying that."

"No! I know this. i'm actually from Wisconsin."

He clucks his tongue at me. "Wow. What even are you? You're from Wisconsin and you don't even like the Packers?"

I shrug, shaking my head. "i guess I just love myself."

He laughs loudly, rolling his eyes a bit fondly at me. "What looks good to you?" he asks, gesturing to my menu, which is still laying closed on the tabletop.

My cheeks burn a bit as I look down, opening the menu up. "Shut up." I grumble playfully.

"The chicken bacon wrap is really good." he informs me, smiling.

I nod, flashing him a small smile. "I'll probably get that then." I shrug.

He looks at me a bit funny when he sets his menu down.

"What?" I laugh out, tilting my head.

He shrugs, smiling. "You." he says simply.

"Me?" I raise my eyebrows at him, making him nod.

"You look nice today." he compliments, instead of giving me a real explanation.

I scrunch my nose up, shaking my head. "I really don't." I laugh, gesturing to my leggings and baggy hoodie. I feel under dressed compared to his nice plaid shirt and black jeans.

"You look comfy." he shrugs his broad shoulders again. "I dunno, like, you just look really cute..." he mumbles softly, his cheeks a bit pink.

I find it incredibly endearing that _he's_ shy around _me._ I smile softly as our waitress comes back with our drinks.

"Are you two ready to order?" she asks softly.

"I think so." Harry answers with a smile.

She touches her pen to the tip of her tongue before getting her little notepad ready.

"I'm going to have the chicken bacon wrap with no tomato or ranch, with a little side salad with no dressing." he orders his food, sliding his menu to the edge of the table.

"And French fries with that?" the waitress smiles as she scribbles down his order quickly.

"Yes, please."

"And for you, dear?" she directs her attention to me now.

"I'll have the same." I say politely.

She gives us a smile and a nod as she takes out menus off of the table. "That'll be out shortly." she winks at us before walking off.

My cheeks flush a bit as I look down at my lap, picking at a loose thread on my worn leggings.

"What's wrong?" I can hear the slight frown in Harry's voice.

I look up at him and see the crease between his eyebrows.

"Nothing." I shake my head softly.

"Something is obviously wrong." he persists, but I hear the concern in his voice.

I let out a soft sigh, shrugging my shoulders. "This isn't like, a date is it?" I ask, taking my lower lip between my teeth.

Harry shakes his head with a frown. "Of course not. Unless you want to call it like, a friend date. Is that a thing?" he laughs lightly, his hands moving to fix the bun in his hair.

"A friend date?" I reply with a slight smirk.

He nods, dropping his hands into his lap. "We _are_ friends, right?" he asks, his eyebrows raised like he's genuinely concerned I'll reply with a 'no'.

I can't help but laugh at his expression. "Of course we're friends, you big goof." I assure him with a fond roll of my eyes.

He lets out a breath of relief, flashing me a dimpled grin. "Good." he says softly. "Otherwise this little 'friend date' would be really awkward." he laughs, making me smile.

"Honestly, Harry, you're fine. I already said that we're friends, so you don't need to worry."

Harry nods slowly, giving me a small smile. "So..." He says after a bit of comfortable silence.

"So?" I raise an eyebrow.

"Are you coming to the football game on Friday?"

I can't help but laugh a little. "Harry, it's only Tuesday."

"So? The game's not _that_ far away. Besides, Niall's planning a big party for after the game." Harry pouts slightly at me.

"When isn't Niall planning a big party?" I tease, making him grin at me.

"You make a very good point. But still!" he pouts his lips again.

"I don't know." I sigh.

" _Pleeeeeeeeeeease?"_ he begs, making his eyes big.

"I don't even _like_ football _."_ I pout back.

He gasps dramatically, his hand resting on his chest like a scandalized housewife. "What kind of American _are_ _you_?" he asks, sounding absolutely appalled.

"What kind of American am _I?"_ I raise my eyebrows. "What kind of Brit are _you?_ You're supposed to be like, a soccer player." I retort.

" _Soccer."_ he mocks in a fake American accent.

"Shut up!" I laugh, throwing a sugar packet at him. "You're such an idiot." I giggle out, rolling my eyes at him playfully.

He just shrugs his shoulders, a smirk on his lips. "You love me, really." he says in a fake-posh accent.

 _Ugh. "_ Well _someone_ has to put up with you." I banter.

Harry pouts exaggeratedly. "Lots of people like me!" he defends.

"You keep telling yourself that, pal." I wink at him just as our waitress walks over. My stomach growls at the smell of our food. "Thank you." I smile at her as she sets our food down in front of us.

"No problem, sweetheart. Just give me a holler if you need anything else." she says with a smile before walking off.

When I look up at Harry, he's already got a mouth full of chicken wrap.

I can't help but laugh as I take a bite out of my own food. "Oh my god." I nearly moan.

Harry's smiling at me as he chews his food slowly. "I told you it was good." he hums, wiping at his mouth.

"You did." I nod. "Once you give me good food recommendations I'll trust you with pretty much anything." I tell him, popping a few fries in my mouth.

"I'm really glad I met you, y'know." he tells me after a while, his plate nearly empty.

"Oh yeah?" I give him a soft smile.

"Yeah." he nods softly. "You're really nice and like, it's cool that I can banter with you. You have such an interesting personality and I like being around you." the way he says it is almost shy and it's incredibly endearing.

"Aww, Harry." I coo, smiling softly at him. "You're such a sweetheart."

Harry shrugs as he takes a sip of his drink, but I can see the flush on his cheeks. "My mum always taught me to always be honest with my feelings." he tells me with another shrug.

"Well she gives good advice." I smile as I stand up slowly. "I really should get going. I have a big test tomorrow that I need to study for." I tell him with a frown.

Harry nods his head softly, giving me a smile as he tosses a few spare dollars on the table. "Do you want to go to the library again? Or would you like me to take you to your dorm?"

I have to think for a moment before I let out a sigh. "I should go back to my dorm. Malia's probably wondering where I am."

Harry nods, leading me out to his car after he pays.

"I had a really nice time today, Harry." I say softly as he drives me home.

"I did too, Mae." he gives me a soft smile. "We should do this again sometime soon."

"Definitely." I agree, letting out a soft sigh as we reach my dorm building. "So I'll see you soon?"

"Hopefully I'll see you Friday." he says with a grin.

"Right." I laugh. "See you Friday."

_End of chapter three._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for how rushed the end of this chapter was!! I just wanted to finish it was fast as I could so I can start getting to the good stuff (:


	4. Chapter Four: Harry's PoV

_September Sixteenth._

My heart is pounding in my chest as i run as fast as I possibly can to the end zone. I watch Liam throw the ball to me. I quickly dive for it, letting out a little yell as one of the players from the opposing team intercepts the ball, another one crashing right into me.

"Fuck..." I groan, sucking in a harsh breath when the player lands right on my left leg. I feel absolutely fucking sick.

The whistle is blown and I can't help the whimper that falls from my lips at the sharp shooting pain in my leg. The ref calls a time out and I sit up slowly. My hands are shaking as they grip at my hurt leg.

My head snaps up as I hear a loud shout of my name. I can't help the but smile a bit when I see Mae, Malia right next to her. I give her a small wave before I look up at the medics rushing towards me.

"Hey, Styles." One says with a slight smile. I recognise him from my freshman year, when I used to get hurt a lot. I wasn't nearly as strong as I am now.

"Can you take your helmet off for me, son?" The other asks. He's new, I can tell by the slight tremble in his voice. He's young, looks about my age. I do what he says, running my fingers through my sweaty hair.

The two medics help me onto the stretcher and carry me into the locker room. All eyes are on me, and the stadium is nearly silent.

"I'm fine, guys." I say, but the tremble in my voice gives me away. "It doesn't even hurt that bad." I lie, shaking my head. "I need to get back out there." I can't leave my team hanging. It doesn't seem right.

"Well, we're just taking precautions." One of the medics sighs.

A few moments later, my coach bursts into the locker room.  "Styles, what the hell happened?" He doesn't sound angry like he usually does when a player gets injured. He sounds genuinely concerned.

"I don't know." I breathe, hissing as the medics poke and prod at the tender part of my leg. "The guy just jumped on me and I didn't see him coming. I was too focused on getting the ball from the other guy." I shake my head, running a hand through my hair again.

Coach sighs and takes a seat on the bench next to me. I can tell he's itching to get back on the field, like me.

"I saw your mom out there." he tells me and I smile a bit.

"Yeah, she's usually here." I say softly.

Coach nods and gives me a small smile before turning to the medics. "Do you know what's wrong?" He asks and I can tell he's getting increasingly impatient.

"It's a clean fracture." The medic who's always here says with a sigh. I frown. Shit.

"You won't be able to play for at least three weeks. The best thing to do is rest and try to keep your leg elevated as much as you can. Sleep with a few pillows under it." The other adds and my heart sinks.

My eyes water as his words sink in even more. I nod my head slowly and watch wordlessly as a heavy brace is wrapped around my leg.

I thank the medics quietly, trying my best not to cry as my coach helps me up.

"I'm so sorry, Harry." Coach says sincerely. I know how upset he is.

I wipe at my eyes furiously as the medics hand me a set of crutches.

"You should see your doctor in a week or so to get that leg checked out again." one says with a kind smile.

"Take it easy, bud." They say before leaving.

I let out a heavy sigh, dragging a hand through my hair.

"I should get back and finish the game." Coach frowns, clapping a hand on my shoulder. "You can stay in here and shower up if you want."

I nod, giving him a weak smile. I'd rather not go back out on the field and watch my team play without me.

I sit back on the bench and I feel like my whole body is broken. I'm left wallowing in silence for a few minutes before my mum steps in. She's got tears in her eyes as she rushes over to me. I don't get why she's so upset. _I'm_ the one who can't play football, I think sourly.

I let out a sigh and shake my head at my own selfish thoughts. i know she's as upset as I am.

"My poor baby," she chokes out, throwing her arms around me and pulling me close. I feel foggy. I don't even know how to feel.

"I don't understand how they can play without you." she mumbles and i can feel her shake her head at me.

 _Same, mum_. I can't help the laugh that escapes, my arms wrapping around her tightly. "That's not how it works, unfortunately. They've just got to keep going until the game's over." I tell her, rubbing her back soothingly.

"How long are you going to be out?" she asks me as she pulls back from our embrace so she can look at me properly, her hands cupping my cheeks

.I draw in a shaky breath, fighting tears. "Probably a month. At least a month." I reply with a frown, my voice cracking.

"Oh, baby..." she says sadly, her lower lip wobbling.

I let out a humourless laugh and nod. "You're telling me." I feel like such an idiot for crying over something so simple as an injury, but I really don't know what I'm going to do.

"What do I do? I don't know what to do now." I know I'm thinking out loud and my mum can't really do anything to help me. I really don't want to work that much on organic chemistry, because I know it's hard to find a job in that field, and football really is what I have to fall back on. Organic chemistry is what my dad would want me to do, and I don't want to let him down, but this is something I _have_ to do. It seems to be the only thing that keeps me from going crazy.

Coach said that scouts from the NFL draft are supposed to be coming to games now to look for players. I have a serious shot at getting drafted. _Not right now you don't_. Fuck.

I feel warm tears spill down my cheeks and I hate that I'm crying over this.

Mum sniffles, wiping the tears off of my cheeks. "I'm so sorry, I wish there was something I could do," she says softly, pressing her lips to my forehead. The gesture brings me back to my childhood, when I broke my wrist from playing footie. i tripped so bad over my own feet and landed wrong on it. She did the same thing to me then.

"Me too." I say, feeling pathetic.

"Do you want to come home for the weekend?"

I frown as I look down at my lap, picking at my thumb nail. I feel bad because I already made plans with Mae for tomorrow.

"Yeah." I reply, but I know Mae will understand. It feels like it's been forever since I've been home.

"Gemma's coming home tomorrow too. It'll be a nice family weekend." she smiles and we both look up when the door opens again.

I can't help but smile a little when Mae steps in. She has a worried look on her beautiful face as she comes over by me.

"Are you okay?" she asks worriedly, her lower lip caught between her teeth.

I sigh sadly and nod. "I'll be fine."

"Are we still on for tomorrow?" I see my mum frown at Mae, stiffening slightly as she looks at her with narrowed eyes.

"Harry's actually coming home tonight." she interrupts and i mentally groan. I love my mum, but sometimes she really needs to let me do the talking.

Mae frowns a bit and nods. "Oh, okay." she says, failing to keep the disappointment out of her voice. My heart clenches and I feel awful.

"Unless..." I bite my lip, knowing my mum's going to be pissed. "Mum, Mae should just come for the weekend too. I don't really want to blow her off."

I know my mum's going to say yes because Mae is standing right here, and my mum is always a pushover when it comes to me, especially when I'm sick.

I take it as a small victory when mum sighs and nods. "But no funny business!" she adds quickly and my face burns red from embarrassment. I can see Mae has an identical blush on her cheeks and I find it adorable. "You can sleep with Gemma in her room." she adds.

"Ah, uhm..." Mae splutters awkwardly. "I'm not... Harry and I..." It's so cute how she stumbles over her words. "We aren't together..." she shakes her head.

I can't help but laugh as I nod in agreement. "She's just a friend, mum. Don't worry." I see my mum visibly relax and I resist the urge to laugh again.

"I should probably go back to my dorm and pack." Mae says a bit shyly. I can tell she's nervous. I nod, giving her leg a squeeze.

"Just meet me at the frat house, yeah?" I smile at her and she nods.

"I'll see you in a bit then." She smiles back before quickly exiting.

........

Almost right when my mum helps finishing me pack, I hear a soft knock on my door.

"Come in," I call quietly and I can't help but smile when I see Mae. She's changed into a big sweatshirt, which looks oddly familiar and a pair of cozy looking sweatpants.

"Hey." I say softly.

"Hey." she echoes, smiling at me. "How are you feeling?"

I laugh a bit and my mum awkwardly leaves the room with my bags. I silently thank her for leaving before she made the situation awkward.

I run a hand through my hair and shrug. "Pretty shit, actually." There's not point in beating around the bush. "I honestly can't believe that I can't play anymore. The season just started." I frown. I've never been hurt this bad before, and it's shit. The weight of the brace on my leg mocks me.

"I'm so sorry, Harry." she breathes. She knows how much football means to me. "I can't even imagine how you must be feeling."

I give her a small smile and shake my head. "Don't worry about it, yeah? i don't really want to talk about it anymore."

"How did your audition go?" I ask, changing the subject.

Mae swallows thickly and she looks down to the floor.

 _Oh_.

"It was fine. I mean, aside from the fact that I couldn't even get a _chorus part_ , it was really good." she says sourly and her eyes are welling up with tears.

"Oh, Mae." I say softly. _Those assholes_. I haven't seen her act, but I can see the passion in her eyes every time she talks about it. It's just not fair for her. "There's always the next play, right?" I bite my lip, trying to find the silver lining in the situation.

Mae nods and picks her bag off of the floor. "Do you have everything?" she asks, obviously wanting to switch the subject and I nod, wanting to ease the negative tension.

"I've just got to grab my pillows." I say with a shrug.

"I can grab them for you." she offers and quickly grabs them before I can respond.

I can't help the blush on my cheeks as I hobble after her on my crutches.

My mom gives Mae a smile as she takes my pillows from her, setting them down in the backseat.

"Mae, you'll have to sit in front by me. Harry, you need to sit in the back and keep your leg up" She says firmly and looks at me.

I sigh softly and nod. It takes both my mum and Mae to help me in the car and help me get comfortable.

Well, as comfortable as I can get. The seat belt buckles ares till digging into my ass uncomfortably.

"Haz, you should take these. Your coach and the medic both agreed that you should take these before bed. It's going to be a long ride and you really need to get some rest. It's been a tough night. My mum hands me an orange bottle of pills.

I wrinkle my nose in distaste as I unscrew the cap. there's nothing I hate more than taking pills. "Do you have water?" I ask with raised eyebrows.

"I've got some." Mae offers, handing me an aluminium bottle.

I give her a small smile and graciously accept it before swallowing the pill with a large gulp of water.

"Thank you." i say softly, resting my hand on the back of Mae's seat.

"Don't mention it." She says dismissively, smiling at me. "Maybe while you're out of commission, you could take up a new hobby." she suggests and she's right.

I purse my lips and nod, already starting to feel tired from the drugs. "I do know how to knit." I say seriously.

Mae lets out a loud laugh at that, and she quickly brings her hands up to her mouth as she giggles to herself. It's adorable, really.

My mum glares at her slightly before focusing her attention back to the road.

"I'm serious!" I laugh. "My nan taught me how to knit when I stayed with her for a summer. I'm actually quite good at it. I'll make you a hat or something." I tell her with a lazy wink. i know my speech is starting to slur.

I rest my head against the window with a heavy sigh, my eyelids suddenly becoming heavy.

"Just get some rest, H." i hear my mum say before I doze off.   
  
  


_End of Chapter Four_.


	5. Chapter 5: Mae's PoV

"So how long have you known Harry?" Anne asks after a while, breaking the uncomfortable silence in the car.

My cheeks flush a bit as I turn to look at her. She's quite pretty. Harry looks a lot like her.

"Oh, uhm," I clear my throat. "We met on my first day. We ran into each other in the showers. literally." I say honestly, blushing at the memory.

"Harry has his own shower in his frat house." Anne says with pursed lips. it's like she thinks I'm lying.

"Yeah, i know." I frown. "The water was out that week and he showered in the dorm halls.

"And later that night I couldn't sleep, and he was reading in the rec room of my dorm hall when I went out there."

Anne nods her head and keeps her eyes on the road ahead. "Are you two dating?" she asks bluntly, making my eyes widen.

"No! Not at all." I laugh lightly. "He's just a friend. He was one of the first friends I met here." I smile a bit to myself.

"You must be _some_ friend." Anne says absently and my eyebrows furrow.

 _That was rude_. "What is that supposed to mean?" I ask defensively.

"Harry's very comfortable around you, Mae. He's not one to get too cozy around new people, especially girls. He's a very careful person, he doesn't trust others easily."

A million questions run through my head. Harry seems so social. He seemed to be all over everyone at the parties we've both been at.

"But you're different." Anne shakes her head, her brows furrowed. "You've only just met and he already wants you to come home. It took him almost a year to bring even Liam home."

"Can I ask why he doesn't trust people?" I ask carefully, biting my lip.

Anne lets out a long sigh, running a hand through her silky black hair. "It's really not my place to tell, Mae. But I'll just say that he was hurt by someone he rally trusted once." she says sadly, and I swear I can see her eyes well up. She quickly blinks and stares at the road again. "I'm sure he'll tell you when he feels ready." she gives me a small smile.

I nod and return the gesture, pulling my knees up to my chest to get comfortable. _Oh, the perks of being short_.

"You should get some rest too, love." Anne says kindly, resting a hand on my knee. I can tell she's trying to be nicer to me, and I appreciate her kindness.

I smile at the kind, motherly gesture and close my eyes.

"Thank you for being so sweet to Harry." I hear her say before I slowly drift off to sleep.

.....

I can't help but smile as I help Anne get Harry laying comfortably on the couch.

"Will you stay down here with me?" he asks me. His words are slurred, his voice deep with exhaustion.

I bite my lip, slightly afraid of what Anne would say, before I nod. Who am I to deny him, especially when he's hurt and tired?

"Of course, Harry." I smile, setting my pillows on the love seat adjacent to the couch.

"Blankets are in the closet in the hall." Anne tells me as she comes back into the living room with a thick _Harry Potter_ comforter that I'm assuming is Harry's from his bed, and a large stuffed panda with matted fur.

I nod and give her a smile before going down the hall to grab blankets.

I stop when I hear voices coming from the living room.

"Harry, you don't need her down here." I hear Anne say sternly. My heart sinks and I frown at her words. "She can stay in Gemma's room."

"She's coming home tomorrow." Harry argues and he sounds angry. "I want her to stay. She calms me down. I've been sleeping a lot better since I've met her."

"What? Harry, have you stopped taking your medication?" Anne asks angrily and i flinch at her harsh tone. She's being too harsh on Harry.

"No, mum. I haven't stopped taking my medication." Harry grits out. "I'm not _fucking stupid_."

I gasp, covering my mouth and I suddenly feel extremely guilty for listening to them. I finish grabbing the blankets.

"Harry, you need to be careful." his mother nearly growls, startling me. "You remember what happened last time. I'm only looking out for you. I want you to be safe."

"Well being rude to every girl I talk to isn't keeping me safe." he fires back.

Things are quiet, so I take that as my cue to go back in.

Harry and Anne turn to look at me, and Anne lets out a loud huff.

"Goodnight." she says shortly and presses a kiss to Harry's forehead before leaving.

I can't tell if she knows I was listening, or if she's sparing me the embarrassment.

I give Harry a small smile as I climb onto the love seat, fixing the blankets over myself.

"You okay?" Harry asks softly and I nod, snuggling into the warm blankets.

"Did you hear me and my mum talking?" he asks quietly after a while.

I bite my lip and sigh softly, burrowing my face in my squishy pillows. "Yeah.." I reply quietly. There's no use in lying to him. I look up at him in the darkness, slowly sitting up to see him better.

"I'm sorry you had to hear my mum bitching at me. I don't know what her problem is. I'm an adult, y'know?"

I frown slightly and nod slowly. "Can I ask why? I mean, do you know why she's being so mean?"

"She's being a bitch." Harry says bluntly and my eyes widen. I can't believe he just said that about his own mother.

"Harry-" I scold slightly, but he cuts me off.

"No, Mae. Don't make excuses for her. She's being rude for no reason."

Things are quiet for a while and I lay back down, sighing softly.

I hear Harry shuffle around, and I think he's fallen asleep.

"Look, Mae..." He says quietly, breaking the silence. "You're one of my best friends, you know that, right?"

I nod to myself, before realizing he doesn't see me. "yeah." I respond instead, smiling a bit to myself.

"I just... We don't really know each other enough. And it's not that I don't trust you, because I do. I just.." he takes a deep breath. "I just think it's too soon."

"Harry, you don't have to explain yourself to me." I say softly. "Take your time to say whatever you want to say." I reassure him. "I don't want to make you uncomfortable."

"It's late." He sighs softly, groaning in pain as he tries to roll on his other side. "Fuck, it hurts so bad." he hisses and I feel my heart clench.

His pain killers must be wearing off. I wish I could take his pain away.

"Goodnight, Harry." I say instead of what I'm thinking.

"Sweet dreams." He says a bit teasingly, but I can tell he's sincere.

I hum and close my eyes, letting sleep take me quickly.

 _End of chapter five_.


	6. Chapter 6: Harry's PoV

_October Fifth_. 

I can't help but roll my eyes as I sit in the living room of the frat house. I hate this part of the year. It's tradition that every October we pick new pledges for the fraternity because nearly half of the current members are graduating. 

I shudder at the though of graduation, not paying attention to the others as they scroll through numerous Facebook accounts. Graduating college back home wasn't a big deal, but this is so much more than I ever imagined. 

Graduating university means that I'm really going to be all on my own to practically fend for myself. I've been researching mercilessly to find jobs or even internships in the organic chemistry field, but the choices are slim, and I don't know enough about the U.S. to consider moving somewhere far away. 

My favourite professor, Ms. Weekes, thinks I could be a science teacher, like my dad. She tells me I'd be a great teacher, but I couldn't do it. I'd virtually have to drop football to free up the time to study for a teaching degree. I'm already sacrificing most of my psychology degree and some of science to play it.

Funny enough, I don't see myself doing anything else besides football. 

I'd like to be a real scientist, always in the lab and exploring different things. It'd be cool to discover a cure for cancer, but the chances of me being a scientist are as unrealistic as me being drafted into the NFL. 

I sigh and shake my head and Liam plops down on the couch next to me with a bag of Cheetos and a beer. He smiles at me and offers me a cold bottle of beer and I open it, taking a swig. 

 _I've never liked beer much_ , I think as I set the bottle on the end table next to me. 

"Fuck, mate. Can you believe we're going to have to teach these pledges to take over for us next year?" Liam says wistfully, wrapping an arm around my shoulders.

I laugh and shake my head. "Li, you act like we're _dying_. Besides, I'm still gonna be here next year. And after I graduate, Niall and Josh are going to take over for me." I remind him, leaning my head on his shoulder.

I've always loved Liam like a brother. He was my first friend I met here. We were roommates in the dorm hall, and we quickly bonded over our love of football and coming from England.

"Yeah, but I won't be here to rule with you." he pouts at me. I'm going to miss him when he graduates.

"S'fucking crazy, man. I've already got a job lined up." he says quietly, not wanting the others to hear him. 

My eyes widen as I look up at him. It's hard to think that in a year, I'll be leaving too and I won't have my best friend to come with. 

"I'm moving to New York to work at a publishing company and then Malia's coming with when she graduates."

I smile, and I'm so happy for him. He's got his life all figured out and it's so great to see that that shy, curly headed kid who wore Batman underwear every day is going to be so successful.

"Liam, that's great!" I grin, wrapping my arms tightly around him. 

"Thanks." he grins sheepishly, his cheeks turning red. I've always admired how modest he always is. He takes a swig of his beer and hums as he squeezes my shoulder. "i'm really excited, Haz. Like, this is everything I've always wanted to do. And hopefully now that I'm in publishing, someone will look at my book and publish it for me."

"And when that happens, I'll be at every book signing ever." I grin at him, pinching his side. "But really, I'm so happy that you get to do what you want to do. I'm proud of you." I say sincerely.

I really hope that the same could happen for me.

Brian, the leader of the frat steps up to the front of the living room, clapping his hands together loudly to get everyone's attention. 

"Alright, listen up," he says loudly. "Now, seeing as me, Liam, Tom, and Dan are leaving, I'm leaving Styles and Tomlinson in charge next year." he pauses and the other frat brothers cheer loudly.

I share a look with Louis and he gives me a smile. Louis is another one of my best friends. He's on the track team, which should be funny, because he's rather short, but he's been the state champion for the team for three years now. He also plays _soccer_ and is active in the drama club. 

He's always the life of the party wherever he goes. He was the first guy I'd ever kissed, and my first real boyfriend. 

Obviously we've broken up, but he's still one of my best friends. He's dating a great guy named Sebastian, who's in drama with him. 

"Now, with that being said, we're still going to need more recruits to fill this empty space. Almost half of us are going to be leaving." Brian continues, a smile on his face.

I've never really liked Brian. He's always been that stereotypical frat bro. Always wearing backwards hats and "suns out guns out" shirts, unironically. 

"I've already made the executive decision to put Horan and Devine in charge when Styles and Tommo graduate." 

Niall and Josh stand up and cheer loudly, pumping their fists in the air.

"We need to find good, strong candidates. We can't let this brotherhood weaken." Brian is very enthusiastic about this and I hear Liam snort into his beer next to me.

I take a sip of my own beer. trying to hide my smirk. Fraternities really are ridiculous. 

As much as I love the guys, I can't wait to leave the house. I hate how rude some of the guys are to underclassmen. Especially when we're picking pledges. I've always been a wallflower for this part.

About halfway through choosing pledges, aka, Brian and his posse making fun of how the different guys are dressed, the doorbell rings and everyone groans. 

"I'll get it." I offer, wanting to get the fuck out of that environment. 

My eyebrows furrow in confusion as I make my way to the door. No one ever comes to the house this late, and no one ordered a pizza. Besides, it's way past curfew. 

I open the door up and my eyes widen, seeing Mae standing there in a dress and heels, makeup on her usually bare face. "Hi," I say softly.

"Hi." she replies, and her tone is clipped. My eyebrows raise in question as I look at her for a moment. "Can I come in?" she asks, crossing her arms over her chest impatiently. 

I bite my lip, looking back down the hall as I hear loud laughter from the living room. 

"Uh,," I run  a hand through my hair, shifting from foot to foot. "We're picking pledges right now, so I'm kind of busy." 

"Fuck," Mae breathes, carding her hands through her hair. "Shit, yeah, right. Sorry. I should just go."  she mumbles, shaking her head. "i should have called, and Malia is out of town visiting her family and I didn't know where else to go." she's rambling now, and I'm realising that her speech is slurred.

"Whoa, whoa, calm down." I grab her wrist as she turns to walk away. "Just go up to my room, yeah? I'll be there in a minute." I offer with a smile. "It's the last door on the left." I say as I point to the stairs. 

She nods and barges in past me, stomping up the stairs. 

I frown a bit and walk back into the living room, where Tom and Dan are laughing loudly at a guy with rather large glasses and a Jurassic Park shirt.

"Uh, guys," I interrupt their mocking. "i'm gonna have to turn in early. Mae's here."

Everyone except for Liam and Louis whoop and cheer loudly. I roll my eyes and flip them off before going up to my room.

Mae's sitting stiffly in the middle of my bed, her hands folded in her lap. 

"Hi." I say a bit awkwardly.

"Hi." she echoes. "Do you have any alcohol?" she blurts before I can say anything.

My eyes widen in shock at her question. She usually hates alcohol. 

"Yeah." I say instead of lying to her. I go over to my mini fridge in the corner and pull out a half empty bottle of blue vodka. 

She eagerly takes the bottle from me and takes a long drink of it. 

"I went on a date." she blurts. 

I raise my eyebrows and take a seat on the bed next to her.

"Okay..." I say slowly. I'm not sure why she didn't tell me this earlier. Probably because it's not really any of my business. 

"Was it bad?" I ask, which earns me a death glare from Mae as she takes another swig out of the bottle. 

"It was shit." she says bluntly. I'm a bit taken aback, because she never swears this much.  "Like, Jesus fucking Christ, it started out fine." she huffs, running a hand through her hair. "I mean, he was perfectly gentlemanly. He had on a nice suit and nice shoes and he picked me up and everything, but then the fucker had to ruin it by being an asshole to the waiter." she rolls her eyes.

" _Do you have any Friexinet_?" she deepens her voice to imitate the loser. "No, sir, we don't serve _shit_." she trills in a higher voice.

I can't help the snort that comes out of my mouth. "The waitress did _not_ say that." I grin at her. 

"No, but she was definitely thinking it." she laughs, shaking her head. "And he was being such an asshole about it, and he kept talking about himself." she rolls her eyes. 

" _Oh, yeah, being on the lacrosse team really has its rewards. Did you know that I got head from a cheerleader on the team bus once? Oh, man, it'd be so sexy if a girl wore my lacrosse jersey. So, how do you feel about blowing me in the bathroom when we're done here_?" she mocks him again, taking a long swig of the vodka again.

"Jeez." my eyebrows raise. "Did he really say all of that stuff to you?"

Mae nods, rolling her eyes. "He's a jackass." she says bluntly. "But whatever, I told him to fuck off and then came here." she shrugs. "He was so ugly too. Like, he had these dull ass blue eyes and disgusting dyed black hair, and y'know what I kept thinking?" she asks, her eyebrows raised in question as she leans forward.

"What did you keep thinking?" I hum, taking the bottle from her and taking a sip for myself. 

"All i could think was, 'wow, I really wish I was on a date with Harry. He'd never treat me this shitty.'" She's completely serious as she says this, her brown eyes boring holes into mine.

My eyes widen in shock and she can't possibly mean this, she's drunk. She doesn't know what she's saying. 

"He didn't have your eyes or your smile and he wasn't kind and handsome like you." she sounds sad as she says this. "He just wasn't you." she breathes, leaning towards me. 

My eyes widen in shock and in a moment, her lips are on mine, her arms looped around my neck. She tastes sweet, like the vodka and her lips are so soft. 

I let out a noise of surprise and my hands find her small waist, holding her close.

I'd be lying if I said I've never thought about this. Not exactly this scenario, but kissing Mae feels like I'm in a dream.

I really don't want to wake up from it.

"Mae," I breathe into her mouth, and she rests her small hands on my chest.

She lets out a little whine and shifts positions so she's in my lap, her fingers twisting in my hair. 

"Just shh, Harry." she pants, her soft lips leaving searing kisses down my jaw.

My eyes flutter shut, the feeling like nothing I've ever felt before. 

"I _need_ you, Harry."

 _End of Chapter Six_. 


	7. Chapter 7: Mae's PoV

"I need you, Harry." I practically whine as my lips continue to press sloppy kisses to the stubbly skin of his jaw.

My words sound foreign coming out of my mouth.

"Mae," Harry says weakly, his voice cracking. "Mae, you're drunk. I'm not going to take advantage of you." he protests, although he arches his neck farther. 

"You wouldn't be. Please, Harry. i need you." I beg, rolling my hips against his, making him jolt back, nearly knocking me off of the bed onto the ground. 

"What the fuck?" I grumble up at him, not meaning to sound as rude as I do. 

He swallows thickly, his Adams apple bobbing in his throat. his green eyes are wide and his chest is heaving. 

"I said no." he says in a shaky voice. 

I frown at his frightened expression. 

"Harry, what's wrong?" I ask, biting my lip as I move closer to him. 

I don't miss the way he flinches away from me.

"nothing." he answers quickly. Too quickly.

"Bullshit." I shake my head. "Tell me what's wrong." I press.

"Fucking hell, Mae!" Harry booms, his palm smacking harshly against the wall, which makes me jump.

I watch him in stunned silence, afraid to make my next move. 

"There's nothing wrong." he says in a small voice and it cracks at the end. "I'm going to get you some Advil and some water." he mumbles as he drags a hand through his hair. 

I can only nod when he gets up and walks to the door. 

"There's t shirts in the top drawer. Pants and boxers in the third." he tells me before exiting.

I sigh and nod to myself, slowly undressing. 

I pad to the dresser and open up the top drawer like he said. there's two rows of neatly folded shirts and I brush my fingers over the soft, worn fabric before settling on a white Rolling Stones tee.

Somehow I can't picture him in this. I smile a bit to myself and pull the shirt over my head, suddenly feeling very sober. 

I climb under the thick black comforter in just his shirt and sigh to myself. 

The stuffed panda from his house is sitting on the pillow next to me and I grab it, brushing my fingers through the matted fur. 

I frown at the memory of seeing Harry in so much pain. 

I'm shaken out of my thoughts as Harry walks back in with a bottle of water and some Advil. 

"You really should rest." he says as he hands me the items. 

I offer up a small smile and quickly swallow the pills, followed by a swig of water. 

"I'm not tired." I respond with a sigh, flopping back against the pillows.

He raises his eyebrows at me and shakes his head. "You look exhausted, Mae." 

I cross my arms over my chest and shake my head. "I'm not tired." I repeat. The alcohol is making me particularly mouthy.

He probably just thinks I'm being a bitch. 

Harry heaves out a heavy sigh and flops onto the bed next to me. I turn to face him and he peers back at me.

"Why did you act so weird before?" I ask quietly, just wanting to rip this conversation off like a bandage.

He stiffens next to me and his Adams apple bobs in his throat as he swallows. "I think that's a conversation we should have when you're not super drunk." he responds carefully.

"I am _not super_ drunk, Harry." I narrow my eyes playfully. "I'm just... Slightly inebriated."

He lets out a forced laugh and runs a hand through his hair. "Just because you say _inebriated_ , doesn't make you any less drunk." he laughs lightly, making me smile.

At least he's still up for banter.

"Well if you must know, i actually feel quite lucid." 

"Oh really?" he challenges, an eyebrow raised.

"Really." I taunt. 

His eyes narrow at me as he purses his lips. "I don't believe you." he retorts.

"Well then." I sass, poking his chest. "Fine, don't believe me." I say dramatically, turning my nose up. 

Beside me, Harry sighs deeply as he looks at me.

"What's wrong?" I ask, frowning at his somber expression. I'm not used to seeing him look sad.

It breaks my heart to see him like this. 

He gives me a small smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes before he looks away, fiddling with his long sleeves.

"It's complicated." he finally says.

I frown. Really? "That's all you have to say?" I ask. I don't mean to pry, but I want to know what's making him so upset. 

"Mae," he warns, looking at me again. "Not everything is a joke." he frowns at me.

I bite the inside of my cheek and shake my head.

"I'm not making this a joke, Harry."Ii defend myself. "I'm just being a concerned friend." I shake my head.

We sit in silence for a moment before I speak again.

"Is it about your mom?" I ask curiously and he shakes his head.

"You know that I trust you, right?" he says quietly and I nod. 

"Of course I do. You're my best friend." i admit . He really is my best friend. Even though we've only met a few months ago, I feel like I've known him forever.

"I would hope you'd trust me enough to tell me things that are bothering you." I add, poking his nose with a soft smile.

Harry swallows again, closing his eyes as he moves and rests his head on my chest.

The room is silent again and Harry's soft breathing is the only thing I can hear.

Minutes pass and it's still quiet. Harry must have fallen asleep.

I frown as I move to make myself comfortable, wrapping an arm around him. 

"Goodnight." I mumble softly, brushing my fingers through the stray curls resting on his shoulder. 

I think he looks beautiful like this. His eyes closed and his lips parted. He looks like an angel.

 _Fuck_. 

His eyes flutter open and his green eyes peer up at me. "I was just resting my eyes." he mumbles softly, the corners of his lips quirking into a smile, which I'm eager to return.

" _Sure_." I tease, poking his stomach. 

He barks out a loud giggle. A _fucking giggle_. His body jerks upward and his arms move to cover his abdomen. 

I grin, raising my eyebrows at him. "Are you ticklish there?" I ask happily.

His cheeks flush as he shakes his head quickly. "Noooo..." 

I let out a loud laugh, wiggling my fingers at him teasingly.

He pulls his knees to his chest, curling himself into a little ball.

He's too fucking cute.

"Don't." he pouts at me, making his eyes big.

"Aww, Harry." I coo at him, ruffling his curls. "I won't." I promise, pressing a small kiss to his cheek.

He smiles at me and turns to me so he can properly look at me. His eyes carefully study me.

"You're so different." he says softly, still smiling a bit.

I smile back at him and nod. "I would hope so." I hum. "Now... Are you going to tell me why you were acting so strangely before?" I ask carefully.

He bites his lip and nods quietly. "I guess it's only fair that I do." he sighs. "I guess I'll just spit it out." he breathes out a biter laugh and I furrow my eyebrows.

"On, uhm..." he pauses and pinches the bridge of his nose. "I was raped on my fifteenth birthday." He rushes out and my eyes widen.

 _End of Chapter Seven_. 


	8. Chapter Eight: Harry's PoV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains potentially triggering content. There's mentions of past child sexual abuse, mentions of past self harm, and mentions of past suicide attempts

My mouth feels dry as I tell Mae what happened.

"What?" she breathes, looking at me with wide eyes.

I take a deep breath and close my eyes, my hands already starting to shake. 

"My sister had her friends over and it was my birthday." I say a bit shakily. "It was late and I got up to go to the bathroom and her friend was just standing there. She said horrible things to me." i shudder at the memory, my eyes starting to water.

The scene plays out in my head like a movie.

"Sh-she was nineteen." I continue. "Gem was home from uni, so she brought her friends over for a little celebration of her being home." I explain.

"My friends always thought she was hot. Her name was Kendra." I choke out. "She was tall and thin, and she was well developed." I swallow thickly. "My friends all thought she was the perfect girl. They always talked about what they wanted to do to her, and that i should get on it or whatever. 

"It was just ingrained in my mind that she was the perfect girl. She was the epitome of everything that I needed. At first, I thought I was lucky.  I wasn't the most attractive kid. I was skinny and lanky and awkward, so I thought, 'hey, this gorgeous girl wants me', so I was afraid to tell my friends. I thought they'd all laugh at me." I shake my head, wiping at my eyes.

"She smiled at me and told me happy birthday. It was late, and I just wanted to use the bathroom. She told me that she'd gotten me a present and she wanted to give it to me. I thought she'd just gotten me a new pair of trainers or something.

"She took me back to my room then and started to take her clothes off. I started to tell her to stop, but she shoved her underwear in my mouth to keep me quiet." Tears are flowing freely now, and I feel myself trembling uncontrollably. 

"She kept telling me that i should like it. That I should feel lucky because all of my friends would kill to be in my spot." I whimper out, screwing my eyes shut to try and block out the memory. 

"Harry," Mae says quietly, her voice cracking. "I'm so sorry." she breathes, but I don't want her sympathy. 

"I'm not finished." I say weakly. 

"After she did that, we started dating. Well, it was a pretty fucked up version of dating, but she made me call her my girlfriend. She would never show me off in public, but in private she was all over me. 

"She would never ask me if I wanted to do anything. She made me..." I shudder. I feel absolutely exhausted talking about it. I haven't told anyone this in years. It's too painful to talk about.

"And I told my sister what she was doing, but she was back at school. She told me that I was lucky to finally have a girlfriend and that I shouldn't complain about it." My fists clench involuntarily.

Mae's watching me intently, her deep brown eyes trained on me. She slowly reaches over and grasps my hand in hers.

I give her hand a squeeze in appreciation of the gesture. 

"After I had my first panic attack at school, she believed me. She confronted her friend about it and her friend denied everything. She said that I was the one who forced myself on her. Gemma's not stupid though. She saw right through her and stopped talking to her."

"What ever happened to her?" Mae asks quietly, her thumb brushing over my knuckles. 

I shrug. "I honestly have no idea. She just sort of... Disappeared. She stopped coming around. i think she moved." I sigh, shaking my head.

"No one really believed I was having problems until I got bad." I look down at my lap, fiddling with my sleeves.

"I had my first real girlfriend when I was seventeen and she was just awful. She was just, like, the worst person you could think of. She was rude and controlling and just awful. She'd always tell me what to wear, and she'd yell at me when my team would lose our rugby game.

"I just wanted to be loved so bad, so I stayed with her. It was Valentine's Day, and I wanted to surprise her. Be a romantic and whatnot. So I went to her house to do something nice, and when I got to her room, some guy was on top of her. She didn't even care. When she saw me, she just laughed. 

"She laughed at me and said that i was noting to her. She called me a worthless piece of shit."

I look up at Mae for the first time in a while and I know how pathetic I must look.

"So then I just stopped talking to girls. i switched to guys. I just... I didn't trust girls for a really long time." I say honestly.

"Until I met you, Mae. You helped me feel again. You helped me _trust_ again. You mean so fucking much to me."

She's crying when I look at her. Her shoulders are shaking and she surges forward, wrapping her arms tightly around me.

"Oh, Harry." she whimpers against my chest. Her fingers curl into the back of my shirt, tugging me impossibly closer. 

"Don't cry, because then I'm gonna start crying again."  I choke out, burying my face in her neck. 

She lets out a watery laugh and pulls back.

"They fucked me up so bad, Mae." I say quietly. "She's the reason I did this." I say and pull my shirt up, revealing a long, jagged scar over my stomach.

I hear her gasp and my heart breaks. She shouldn't have to be here to pick up my broken pieces. 

"Harry..." she whimpers out. "Why?" is all she asks, her fingers brushing over the faded, pink skin.

"Because that was the only option I thought I had." There's no use lying to her about this. 

"I liked the pain." This is the first time I'm telling anyone about this. "There was nothing like it. It was the first time in a while that I had actually felt something other than sadness. It's fucked up, I know..." I trail off, biting my lip.

My hands go up to my hair and I pull on it. "I would come home from school and I'd make little cuts on my body. I never did it hard enough to scar, but I loved it. It was like a dug." I breathe.

"And then one day I came home after a particularly shitty day. Mum and dad were out to dinner, and I was all by myself. My dad always had these daggers that he collected. Really old things. And so I grabbed one that he hadn't locked up. 

"He always kept them locked up in glass cases, but he'd just gotten this one from an auction, and it was still laying on his desk. So I took it and sat in the bathroom for a while. And that's when I decided to do it." I swallow thickly and Mae is crying again.

Sobs wrack her small body and shes gripping at my leg so tightly.

"I don't want you to feel bad for me, Mae." I say honestly. "I just- I trust you _so_ fucking much, and I want you to know. You're the only person besides Liam and my therapist that I've told."

"Thank you so much for telling me." she says in a small voice. She wipes at her eyes and sniffles.

I offer up a small smile and nod.

"Can I give you a hug?" she asks after a while and I let out a watery laugh, nodding. 

God, she's so fucking cute.

"Of course." I say softly, wrapping my arms tightly around her. 

"I want you to know that I don't do any of that anymore. I'm on medication and I have no intention of ever doing anything like that again." I say honestly.

"Good," she mumbles against my chest. "Because if anything happened to you, I'd be really sad."

I smile. And it's a genuine smile. She _cares so much_ , and it makes my heart hurt. 

She's one of a kind. I've never met someone so kind or understanding.

I've never met someone and felt such a connection with them. Talking to her and opening up to her is like a second nature now. I feel like I've known her for years. 

I feel like there's something that should be said between us. but I feel her lips lightly press against my collarbone, and there's no reason for words.

She pulls back and gives me a soft smile, cupping her hand over my cheek. I close my eyes and let out a soft sigh.

"You should get some rest." she says softly, and I can tell how tired she is.

I nod, laying down slowly, careful to keep my arms around her.

She rests her head on my chest, an arm wrapped around my middle.

It doesn't take long for her to fall asleep, and soon enough she lets out these adorable little snuffles. 

I close my eyes and listen to the sound of her breathing, feel her soft touch against my tummy, and for the first time in a while, I know that things are actually going to be okay.

_End of chapter eight._


End file.
